Truck Stop Sex Shop

Found myself in the presence of the world’s most illustrious machine. The mystery sex toy machine in a sticky truck stop bathroom. You know, the little room that you literally refused to accidentally bump up against the wall in? Yeah, they sell little vibrating pieces of plastic for you to stick in your butt.

And someone must be doing it. If they didn’t make money these things wouldn’t be littered across the beautiful flyover states in the US of A.

I mostly regret my lack of quarters if I’m being real. This is like buying one of those LOL balls, or a Rainbowcorn or whatever, just for the sleaziest people on earth. I gotta know what the 12 options you could get in Pandora’s Box are.

Surely a simple condom, possibly flavored, one of them is probably just flavoring, and definitely a little rubber, vibrating ring.

Next time I’m going on a road trip it’s gonna look like laundry day with all the quarters, but I must purchase the mystery sex toys from the sticky herpes room.